“You’re not CHRISTIAN enough,” says the liar.

I’ve had these thoughts in my head so many times I’ve lost count, and heard variations of these more than I’d want to.

It’s an insecurity problem. I asked God, “what should I write about today?” He said, “why not the main thing you struggle with.” You see, as confident as many people think I am – “Oh, Philly, you’re so head-strong with such a high self-esteem, people don’t get to you…” etc. This is only half-true. Sure, I don’t care what people think about me but I do care about how I’m representing God. It hurts to think I may mess up and bring shame to Our Community.

Now you know my biggest fear.

I understand that everyone is not perfect; we all sin, we all make mistakes, and we all fall short of God’s Glory. Is it wrong that I WANT to be perfect for Him, no pretending? (“You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48) There’s a difference between pretending to be something you’re not and actually striving for an unattainable goal. But it’s a fine line to those who can only go by what they see, as they do not know your heart. It’s a risk you have to take when you profess your faith. All eyes will be on you – no pressure.

The Devil is a liar. He says that you must concentrate on these eyes, instead of keeping yours on Jesus. He wants you to think about the thoughts of others, instead of having thoughts about Jesus. He tells you that you must satisfy man and God, however, your goal is to satisfy only God. Such blatant lies He slithers into our heads!

The only way to illustrate my Christianity is not merely by my words, but by my actions. I want to be fruitful, possessing fruits of the Holy Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23) but I understand this will not happen overnight. It is a gradual process. Therefore, we also can not expect others to change so quickly and steadily. Sometimes we get distracted on our Walk and step off the path for a bit; the important thing is not how fast we walk, but remaining on that narrow road, returning if we do take a wrong turn. So, do not misunderstand a fellow Christian’s expectations and realities. Expectations lead to judgement, realities lead to the truth. 

Remember: we are not perfect, though we serve a perfect God. We strive for perfection for HIS GLORY, and to make Him proud. But we’re already making Him proud every day when we choose Him or this world, when we thank Him, look to Him, speak with Him, and accept Him. Nothing else matters but Him, no one else matters except Him. Just keep your eyes on Him, love Him as He loves you.

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AMEN.

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A Dream worth Realizing.

When I was newly Saved and delving into the Word of God I had a dream that transcended into reality. It was absolutely wonderful! It was solely about God.

I urge you to read Psalm 91 before I retell my dream. Pay close attention to the imagery and metaphorical meanings in both my dream and Psalm 91.

It was June 27, 2012. I had devoted most of my summer to developing skills and interests, getting to know myself better, and most importantly, seeking God. I would be home most of the day, just me and my dog. I enjoyed my youth, played video games, watched anime, and had quality lazy time since school was closed. However, most of my days were spent with The Almighty. I had recently received a “New Believer’s Bible” from my (now, but not then) spiritual mentor (the date I received that Bible was June 2, 2012). The Bible has many Bible Study tools so I had spent a lot of time reading, praying and digesting on it. It was really just me and God. I’d see other life forms from time to time; but my summer was mostly spent looking at God’s Face.

On June 27, 2012 God delighted me with a dream. I can’t remember the exact time, but it was around 11 AM when I had started Bible Study on the ‘Cornerstone’ topic “What are angels?” in my new Bible. I was just finished reading another topic before that but I had only read the first sub-topic “Why Did God Create Angels?” before I got tired and took a nap. I don’t usually dream; most of the time when I do it’s very confusing and doesn’t make any sense. My dreams tend to shift venues, characters, worlds… it never was solid or remarkably profound. Until this dream.

First, I was a man. I was a man, in a creepy house walking up the stairs with my two friends on either side of me. We were all about to get something that seemed important, but from what I can sense was not praiseworthy. As we walked up the steps a glob of blackness appeared; it consumed everything. It had an eerie aura and my friends and I were very afraid. We ran as the thick black ink swallowed everything behind us. My two friends grew tired and the blackness gobbled them. I was alone.

But I remembered something. As I ran down the stairs and saw the blackness creep unto the railing, I suddenly was no longer a man. I became a visual representation of myself. I remembered that God is always with me. Suddenly I was in an empty room. I had praying hands. I can’t remember the exact words I had said in my dream (my lips were not moving though) it was something like “I am not alone, God is with me and He will protect me. Whom shall I fear?” I had also called on the Lord by name. Between my praying hands a Cross and blinding light appeared. I felt the blackness become shaken with fear. The blinding light (which I can still see clearly in my head) grew and grew until it filled the whole room. Then I awoke to a sunset, orange and pink streaked my room. There was no ounce of fear in me.

Surely, that was from God, I had thought. At the time I didn’t pay too much attention to it; though I was in awe, I had continued my Bible Studies from where I left off. I had finished Hebrews 1:4-14 my Bible read, “For the next note on “What Are Angels?” turn to p. 512.” This lead me to Psalm 91, a scripture that was new to me at the time. How would I had possibly known what it was about to dream about it? The scripture in Hebrews is not similar to Psalm 91, as well. This was an act of God.

The scripture mirrored my dream so closely, I was absolutely astonished. This was physical evidence that God is real, is working in my life, and wants me to know He will be my tower of refuge, protector, and Father. Nearly every verse was a close correlation to my dream. Here are a few:

**The scripture speaks about God being your place of refuge, that He will thwart the darkness and protect you from all evil. In my dream, I am in a house where God saves me from evil blackness.**

Verses 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9 illustrate the above.

Verse 8. ~> My friends beside me are captured by the darkness. Note: we were about to do something unjust.

Verse 14. ~> I called upon and trusted in God’s Name for His help.

Verse 15. ~> After the “call” God rescued me.

Verse 16. ~> The “reward” was “salvation” and “life,” my friends in the dream died, but I did not.

This dream was a Welcome from God. I could not have fabricated such a dream on my own, even so the mere fact that Psalm 91, out of all the other scriptures expressing different topics, was next for me to read is all from God. I hope this touched your heart greatly! God bless! 🙂