Tonight was one of those nights.
The house was quiet, the rain had stopped pouring, everyone was asleep… and here I was. Alone. Bored. Moody. Depressed. Frustrated. Impatient. It goes on, trust me, it does.
I started thinking, “what’s wrong with me?” The things which absorb my thoughts, my deepest desires, started to consume me and I wasn’t sure if it was a Godly perspective on my situation. A lady in waiting. She waits for her Prince, her partner in crime, her confidant. There I was thinking on such things, about someone.
In the mere 18, soon to be 19, years of my life I realized that out of all our personal pursuits (occupational, educational, entertainment, pleasure, etc) love is the most crucial, most affecting thirst we all have. It comes in stages; I’m currently at the stage that yearns for God and a mate. I crave Jesus, I love Him so much. I crave God’s Will in my life and I want MORE of Him. I also crave a soul mate.. I’m actually contemplating on having a marriage-worthy relationship. A serious relationship. But, when I start yearning for what I don’t have my emotions reflect on that missing blessing.
So, the only possible way is to feed my spirit and out-pour my emotions. If I can in-take good, I will eject goodness. I’ve started writing letters to my Future Husband, taking my purity more seriously (as purity is not just about refraining from sex), reading a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, and now I’m introducing a new blog – a personal blog. It’s called Pink Crosses.
I won’t say what to expect from this new blog. So, don’t set expectations. It’ll be about my innermost desires and struggles. Truly personal. Sometimes, all I need is a release – this blog will be my release. Amen.