Day 6: Feeling DEFEATED – I JUST WANT TO STAY HOME AND SLEEP

Ugh! I’m not even in the mood to type! Expect this to be short. I wanna cry right now, I want to punch a wall, I want to be held…

Firstly, the challenge hasn’t been going successful as Satan done it again. My computer crashed! All of the memory is gone and it set me back majorly. I’m on a borrowed netbook which makes my hands feel so big and manly because it’s so teeny.

On top of that, I had to break up with my boyfriend all because my mother doesn’t like him – family is very important to me. I want to sob and eat bon-bons and curl up in my bed. Earlier, I didn’t want to eat at all but it’s a shame we broke up FOR THAT WOMAN.

That was my first love and I couldn’t even focus to do homework tonight. I just said screw it, screw it all, screw it all to hell.

Sorry, guys, I’m under A LOT of stress. Loads of work needs to be done, I’m gaining weight, and I haven’t been pampered in months… or years. It’s always been about helping other people, helping my family, helping my mother. Help. Help. HELP. God helps me, I know. I’m just waiting for the blessing. So, I’m going to stay home. I’ll probably sleep in an hour or two later then I’ll do some work. So much for the challenge. I will continue it on tuesday. Right now, I just want my bed and some soft music in my ears.

I’m feeling so confused and defeated. God, please stay near as I know You’re already here.

Side note: I went to my friend’s church today. It’s a non-denominational church. I think I will make it a regular thing, which means church times two on Sundays. I need it. I really do. God deserves it. He really does.

Good night.

 

 

XOXO

Philly